116. Re: Living vicariously... love advice from friends and more adventures

27 Dec, 2023

So many people reached out to me about my blog posts about my romantic life. Where was that enthusiasm and passion when I posted about different bodies of water, huh?! (I'm only slightly kidding, hehe)

I wanted to take a moment to express my appreciation for the response to my recent blog posts about my embarrassing, yet rather adventurous love life. Truly touched by the messages that poured in, filled with encouragement, shared experiences, and valuable advice. When I decided to open up and share my personal stories, I never anticipated the incredible sense of connection that would arise- not just the stories about love (but it seems like the Bear community seem to eat up my posts about cringey and suave suitors I've encountered), but of my thoughts, travels, and other ponderings.

I never thought that I would be the "romantic" storyteller in my life, but if that's the path I'm heading, then I will it accept it with open arms. I don't really approach love and romance like my peers, at least that's what I think? To my friends, I have shared stories where I have ran away from men approaching me, stories about disappointing one-night-stands, stories about past relationships that ended up in flames. I've decided that my dating life will be paved with good vibes and good people from here on out. It's exhilarating to see how a simple recounting of my romantic escapades has resonated with so many of you. I'm very glad actually. The solidarity we share as we navigate the twists and turns of life is truly remarkable.

Right now, I'm in a good place. I realize that relationships aren't supposed to be easy, but they are supposed to be fulfilling.

Here is short preview of the lovely words people have sent me:

From aco on discord!

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From eve

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From tiramisu

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My stories also led me to new penpal friends, such as Kazaii

This post is not only an appreciation post.

It is also part three of my little story- a continuation from 102. Trying not to be just a romantic travel story.

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I missed him a lot. Our conversations were a little lacking because he was with friends in India. He would text me maybe one message each day, which I appreciated, but there was not a lot of talking going on. I was going a little crazy actually. We did not have a lot of back and forth conversations as he was touring around India. Even though he had jam-packed days full of activities and traveling, he had a very fun time. During his last days in Mumbai, we called each other. Honestly, I really wanted to see him again.

I asked him what his plans were during our phone call. He took my suggestion of going to Thailand and had already booked his flight to Bangkok when he was with me in Langkawi. He said that his plans were up in the air after that.

"What about Philippines? You haven't been there, right?"

Fast forward two weeks later. We booked the tickets and I made an entire itinerary of things to do while we were together. He toured Thailand for 10 days and of course, needed a change of pace. Why not visit my home country?

In the middle of December, I was on a flight over to Cebu City (PLEASE don't tell my mom! HAHA). While on my flight, I sat next to a guy from India. He was assigned the window seat while I occupied the middle seat. He pulled out his laptop and started watching a Matthew McConaughey film. I was looking at his screen because he had the subtitles on and silently watched with him for a couple of minutes.

My seat neighbor noticed me and looked back at little ol' nosy me. I thought he was going to be a little bit irritated or startled by my presence, so I broke the ice by saying, "wow I love Matthew. Great choice." and asked the title of the movie¹. We just started talking. It was a wonderful conversation, actually. We were so preoccupied with our talk that we didn't even know each other's name until halfway into our 4 hour flight.

We talked about a lot of things: our backgrounds, the countries we visited, the people we met, etc. I even told him about how my parents met while my father was traveling around Philippines and his eyes literally widened. He asked for more details about how they met and how long they were together before they got married. He wasn't being invasive at all, but was rather curious about my parents' love story. I tried to tell him all the details I know from my parents as their courting was quite long (by modern day standards).

"My parents met at the beach actually. My father was just traveling around and he met my mom and they hit it off pretty well. My mom was with her college friends..."

I added that I was actually going to meet a guy that I met while traveling as well. My flight neighbor smiled a lot and asked me a lot of details of how me and German Guy met and how long we've been talking. I finished telling my story and I tried to hide how disappointed with how a little 'unstable' this whole love situation I was in.

"The reason I asked so much detail about your story is..." My friend from India was laughing, "Well, I met this girl in Indonesia around August-September... And she's also from Germany."

I laughed so hard. What are the odds?

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My new friend and I were on the same boat (well, flight- literally)- both heading to Philippines. We continued to share our romantic adventures about our respective German lovers. It was very endearing and lovely to chat with my new friend. We both laughed, we both cried, and we both comforted each other in our wild romantic lives.

"So are you going to see her again? What's the deal?" I asked my flight neighbor with anticipation. He just sighed. I feared that I will be in the same situation.

When we arrived in Cebu City, we had to fill out the immigration. We waited in line together and continued to talk until it was my turn to talk to the immigration officer. I wanted to wait for him before heading to baggage claim since I was already finished with my paperwork, but he told me that I should go ahead of him and carry on. I said my goodbye to my new friend, exchanged WhatsApp contacts with each other, and then I made my way to the exit.

I landed in a different terminal as my German companion, so I had to walk from one end of the airport to the other. I found him sweating and sitting down at a nearby bench. It was a lovely reunion, although we were a bit stressed because we were navigating an unfamiliar place (I have never been to Cebu before. I will probably make another DIEC!), but it was okay. We were together for the third time now.

The ride from the airport took about an hour. We sweated in the backseat and shyly held each others' hands again. It was very cute, I was blushing the entire time.

When we got to the accommodations, night was already rapidly approaching. We had to take a quick nap before we explored the city. We decided to walk down the road and hit up some touristy spots. People from Cebu speak a different dialect than me, so it was a little hard for me to understand, even though I had family from the Visayas (Western Visayas). I had to stumble with my communication because my Tagalog is kinda bad (although I understand more than I can produce words!).

We walked past a night market and made our way towards the water. We watched the sunset together and had dinner near the shore. I tried to order in Cebuano, but the staff started speaking English to me (I don't look that Filipino). I kept trying though.

It was his first time having a Filipino dinner! I had to pull out all the stops. We shared a lechon kawali (he loved the crispy pork), buttered shrimp, and a plate full of rice. We were so tired after walking from the beach that we passed out when we got home.

The next day, we finally got a chance to scratch our adventure itch. We had a bit of a late start, but it was alright. We walked around the downtown area of Cebu City and made our way towards the ferry pier. It was such a hassle and I was stressed the entire time, but we made it to Bohol around 4-5PM. It seemed like evening time when we arrived because we saw that the sun was still up and it was very bright.

There were a bunch of drivers and tour guides that were trying to get tourists to use their services right when you disembark from the boat. A saleslady pestered us to go visit the Chocolate Hills, which was in the middle of the island and a "short drive". We were exhausted from our ferry ride, but didn't want to stay at the docks, so we decided to take a car to the Chocolate Hills before the sun set. Big mistake.

We were so pissed off because the lady knew that it was going to be a long drive, but insisted that we could see this beautiful geological formation with a beautiful sunset in the background if we just hurried. While we were driving, the night fell quickly, even though we were cruising pretty fast. We were in the middle of nowhere when I urged the driver to stop the car and find a really quick homestay for the night. There was no way that we were going to see the hills. It was so dark already. We paid less than our agreed upon amount, but it seemed like our driver was happy to accept it... anyway...

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German Guy and I were stranded near the little town of Batuan, a few minutes away from the famous Chocolate Hills. We stopped at a canteen shop on Balilihan-Hanopol-Batuan Road, where they sold lechon manok (roasted chicken) on a stick. The local staff that served us dinner made conversation with us while we had dinner. I was the translator and it was such a fun time.

The locals told us that many tourists stopped by their stand. My companion was the first German that ate at their restaurant and I was one of the few Americans they've seen. They said that they couldn't believe that I was Filipino, until I started explaining what they were saying and interpreted their words in English. I was still a bit rusty, but I could understand what was going on- which was a very good accomplishment to me.

We spent a long time at the restaurant. At the end of the night, we actually shared a beer with all of the locals at the restaurant. German Guy went with a local man to the convenient store to buy two liters of San Miguel. While the two of them were gone, the other guys at the restaurant were asking how long we were "dating" and I was pretty honest.

"Well... It's been a whole month. But I guess we're just friends for now."

"I thought you were boyfriend/girlfriend by the way you were together!"

"Heh, yeah."

When they returned from the store, we all toasted with our cups of beer and happy cheer. We spent a couple of hours laughing and talking, while we all drank a lot of San Miguel together. At the end of the night, they basically told us,

“A lot of tourists have come and go, but we’ve never had an appreciation like this before. We will remember you guys.”

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After a night's rest, we finally went to the Chocolate Hills. It was a beautiful sight to see. I have always wanted to visit this place, actually.

Bohol had a lot of things to do, but we were so limited on time... We decided to catch a ferry at noon and head back to Cebu City. We were a bit late in our check-out. I was in a very bad mood when I had to pay 200 pesos to the staff...

We carried our bags over to the bus terminal and ate at Jollibee right before we bought our bus tickets. It was a very crowded bus to our next destination and I felt bad for my lovely German fellow, who had to fold his legs up like origami in such a cramped seat.

We got to Moalboal in one piece. It was so late, but I hailed a tricycle and got to our accommodations on time. Our sleeping place was a nipa hut, it was similar to camping because we were basically outside. Ever made love in a bamboo house?

The next three days were spent in the lovely beach city of Moalboal. We went snorkeling and saw a turtle! We rented a scooter and visited another waterfall! We swam and ate until our hearts were full and happy.

I confessed my feelings to him on Christmas Day. I told him, "Listen, I am not in love with you, but I think I have the potential to be... Is that too much?"

He was flattered. "Oh, Kayla. I wish I met you at the end of my trip instead of the early-middle of it..."

It was difficult to make any promises at this moment. I understood.

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After a week with him, it was my time to go. The past two times we spent together, he was the one the was leaving, but today it was my turn to go. We precariously balanced my suitcase (I did not bring my traveling backpack with me unfortunately) and my carry-on bag on top of the scooter and made our way to the bus terminal (there's no official bus terminal, just a small little bus stop).

It was a very tearful goodbye. I was a little sad that I was the one leaving, but I had to make my flight to see my family.

The bus ride took 4 hours and I was feeling sad and tired. I arrived at the Cebu City bus terminal and needed to rush over to the airport. I tried to wait for a taxi, but as I was waiting, this random stranger tried to take my suitcase and insisted that he can take me to my destination. I was pissed that he handled my bag, but he was kind of relentless. I bargained with him for a good minute, and settled for an okay price to the airport (it was a very long distance and I was trying to get through security at a reasonable time).

A text sent to my close friend while this was going on

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This time, I was about 3 hours early, which a normal person's time to get to the airport, not a measly 30 mins before, especially during a layover tour like I seem to do....

While waiting for my flight, I received a text message from my friend from India. I was pleasantly surprised to hear from him.

My flight buddy really was at the airport at the same time as me. What a lucky and happy coincidence. We were going to different cities in Philippines, though. He told me that he spent time in Moalboal, but we were in different hostels and different places, so we didn't run into each other while we were in the same beach town.

We drank coffee together and I updated him on what I did and our conversations. My flight was before his. We talked for about an hour before I had to leave. He wished me luck on my journey and with my romantic life. I said the same to him.

Before I left him, I joked: "Update on our German lovers next time we see each other okay? And also, the next airport we meet at- it better be FRA ²"

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It seems like things are up in the air right now. I'm honestly just playing it by ear. I haven't seen my European travel companion in a couple weeks, but we call each other on the phone sometimes.

We'll see how this goes? Good things and good vibes.

~ your travel gf,

<3 K