102. Trying not to be just a romantic travel story
I went to a beach island for a man. I don't know why I did that, but I decided, why not? My friends are very supportive of me and they told me, "go!! make memories!! further your plot!!" And I did just that.
This is a continuation from my previous post, part two of my little story.
We left off the chapter with me leaving the German guy at the train station. It was a bittersweet goodbye. We locked eyes for the last time and then I thought to myself, "what did he do to me?". I was happy to discover that he was thinking the same thing- "what did she do to me?" So he left KL to go to Langkawi- an island west of Malaysia. Langkawi has pristine white beaches, beautiful hidden waterfalls, and it's a cultural hot spot for Malaysians and international tourists alike. Sounds like a pretty good time, right?
We talked a lot after he left. He said something along the lines of, "this island is so romantic, I wish you were right next to me." ...to which I responded with, "Okay I'm looking to see how cheap these flights are." I ain't never been this down bad for a person before. Airdropping your American lover to an island getaway, so that you can have someone to talk to is a great vacation strategy.
I had a couple of hours to think about how I would spent my weekend. On one hand, if I just stayed in the city, I would be spending time with my friends at the pub crawl Saturday night, exploring the nightlife and dancing out little hearts out. On the other hand, I would be relaxing at the beach with a cute boy and living out my lover girl dreams on the back of an old scooter, sipping beers by the ocean. Both experiences would be roughly the same price. I calculated all of the costs for everything: the short-term accommodations for roughly ~3 days for the weekend, the flight tickets, the food, etc. I balanced out my budget and realized that it was extremely affordable.
I thought to myself, "maybe the thing that's holding me back is me?"
Cue the scrambling to find the passport, packing things for the weekend, and sharing my location with some of my friends before I jetted off to the airport the next day. This is insane. I have never done that before.
I sat at the airport gate with nothing but my swimsuit, a couple of sets of clothes, and some beach towels in my backpack. I decided not to bring my DSLR camera, even though it would have been a really beautiful place to get some nice photography in. It was just too bulky to pack. The plane was delayed and a Lara from Germany (Lara is not her real name, I just made it up) was a little anxious and complained that the plane still hasn't arrived at the boarding gate. For 15 more minutes, she relaxed with her Kindle and Fjällräven Kanken bag and waited right next to me. Finally, the plane arrived.
I sat in an aisle seat and was feeling a bit nervous. I looked at the aircraft safety card and snapped a picture for my pilot best friend like how I always do (an A321!), and took a big breath. I was shaking a bit. I have never done something like this (my crude friends were making fun of me, asking how much I would actually travel to get laid... It's not like that at all! Gosh...). It's literally only been one week since I met the man, yet I felt strong feelings nonetheless. I needed a couple of days to process this, of course.
I felt the cool sea breeze when I stepped out of the airplane. It was only a 45 min flight and I was ready to see the ocean. I spotted him immediately, waiting at the arrival exit of the airport. He was holding a sign for me that said, "こんにちは、ケイラ”, (Konnichiwa, Keira or 'Hello Kayla'), to which I complimented his penmanship in Japanese. It was so cute. I smiled so much as we walked to the parking lot.
"It's about 5 Euro per day to rent this scooter and I thought it was a great idea!" he tells me as we loaded up in the back of the old blue bike. He tossed me a white helmet and tied it for me. I was a little nervous getting on the back of a motorcycle (I actually have never done that before! Only motorized tricycles in the Philippines!), but I decided to embrace the adventure. I'm simply just living my Lizzie Maguire fantasy. This is what dreams are made of.
We visited the night market and bought some roti boom (a traditional roti flatbread with sweetness at the top), satay (meat skewer BBQ), nasi putih (white rice) an assortment of spicy chickens, and dorayaki snacks. It was a very lovely meal.
He took me to the beach, where we sat in the sand and admired the fire dancer performances. We sat by the ocean and admired the atmosphere around us. There were some local Malaysian guys playing football (soccer) in front of us, so I decided to join them for about 10 minutes. My companion just watched as I ran after the ball and passed the football around with the guys at the beach. It was such a great time.
I felt like everything was moving too fast, but honestly I'm just trying to enjoy the moments life is currently hurling at me (like a fast pitch baseball for god's sake...). We watched the stars and admired the beachy scene in front of us for the rest of the evening.
The next day was filled with more exploration. We planned out the places where we wanted to visit and set off for the day. We tutted around the island with some beach things in my little tote bag and headed northward towards the hidden beaches and waterfalls on the north side of the island.
A funny little tidbit was when we were riding along the open road:
"Oh hey there's a petrol station. We're a little low... Want to stop here for a little bit?" I asked him, as I held on to him on the back of the scooter.
"I think we're fine!" he says, as we continued riding. (Not very German of him)
We didn't expect the road to be so hilly and we were getting a bit worried about the gas levels by the time we reached the little hiking spot where the waterfall was. The Temurun Waterfall was so beautiful- just short, rocky stroll to the 3 cascading tiers of water. We saw a group of Malaysian women trying to have a picnic, but they were frightened by the sneaky monkeys trying to ruin their lunch. It was very amusing to see.
We went up and down the hills rather slowly, just to conserve some fuel. I was laughing the entire time because we were just trucking along the coastal roads, trying to reach the gas station about 2 km away. Once we stopped and refueled, we started to head towards the white sand beaches.
There were a lot of people at the beach! After we had our dip in the ocean, we were listening in the conversations of the German families nearby. I was telling him, "Oh sorry we're sat next to the babies instead of the hot young European people hungover over there." as I pointed to the skinny hipsters lying around on beach towels tapping away on their phones about 10 meters away from us. We noticed that German parents are all the same, apparently. They would always talk about the latest family things like strollers and baby carriers. Ha, I just want a beer, man.
We wanted to circumnavigate the big island that day. We were in the northern part of Langkawi at a beach called Tanjung Rhu Beach before we headed southeastward. We actually got caught in the rain and had to stop our little motorbike from getting plummeted water. It was a bit slippery and dangerous to drive in this kind of weather. We stopped at a fried food stand in Kuah and bought some potato snacks and ais milo as we waited for the rain to stop.
When we got back to the city center near Pantai Cenang, I proposed a short plan that we save some time and organize our things and charge up devices before we meet up for dinner again. He simply smiled and said, "Wow, efficiency is so sexy." We both laughed as we continued down the road.
The night market wasn't open at 8PM, so we decided to go by the seaside again and admire the beach. We were disgruntled about the prices for the "mocktails" and "margaritas" so we stopped at a 7/11 to buy 4 cans of beer. We sat on the sand again and talked about life as we sipped on our cheap beverages. For dinner, we walked to the food stalls and had a great meal of fried fish, rice, satay (again), and a Malaysian hamburger. The rest of the night was so so lovely.
We had to say our goodbyes (again) the next day. We sat at a breakfast place down the road and listened to a local band while we ate our smoothie bowls (it was giving digital nomad trying to soul-search in Bali, Indonesia vibes honestly). I actually mustered up the courage to request the band to play a very well-known Malaysian love/break-up song called "Menghapus Jejakmu" by Peterpan. They smiled at me when I waddled up to their stage area with a napkin in my hand and the song title written carefully in pen.
He was going to India that day. We went back to the beach and drank some 7/11 drinks before heading back to pack up the bags. His flight was in the afternoon so we had to scramble around and turn in the motorbike- we had to sort some things out before he had to head back to the airport.
In the evening, I drank a couple of draught beers to lift my spirits and wrote my postcards to my friends as I sat at a very swanky bar/restaurant that was overlooking the sea.
The next day, I was alone and had some local breakfast down the road. My flight was in the evening, so all I did was enjoy the beach bit more and swam. I enjoyed my solitude at this beach island getaway.
The day before, I asked this German man if I was going to be a "travel story" in his life when he looks back maybe 20-30 years later. We really didn't have a response at the moment. We really liked each other, but we've only known each other for one full week at this point. I thought that I would have never have this feeling in my life, but life's got some tricks up its sleeve. It was such a strange feeling to have these emotions and care for a person, especially a stranger that you've only talked to for a short while. It certainly is a mix of the "vacation air" and the romantic atmosphere around. Something's in the water.
Right now, I feel a bit hesitant. I feel a bit of a comfort. I feel a bit like I'm running and hoping that I won't fall on my face.
Actually, the other day, I had a talk with my "one week bf" about his experience "dating me" for the week (I thought he was so awful for a while, but he apologized to me multiple times and then I forgave him. He's a buddy now.). He said it was a little overwhelming that I gave him the attention and affection that he had always craved in a relationship (he said he never received compliments from the girls he was seeing this year?). He told me that he's on a 'dating hiatus' and that I was the 'Archduke Franz Ferdinand' of his pause. Frankly, I'm kinda honored.
Then he told me, "Okay, why are you always involving yourself in these short-term situationships? You're setting yourself up to feel sad. I think it's great that you always go with the flow, but dudes will just be doing anything if they think you don't care.", to which I responded with a: "First of all, I think I do care... I think he cares for me too?" I didn't think it was a short-term situationship, but I guess it really is one... now that I had some time to think about it. Maybe I'm delusional.
I heard some more insight from others about this. My friends were obviously so eager to hear about the tea.
Some advice I received were hopeful like:
- "are you guys still talking? I hope he likes you as much as you gush about him."
- "I think you guys look so cute together."
- "I know a lot of couples who weaved in and out of each other's lives for years before the time was 'right' if that makes sense?"
Some advice were more practical and matter-of-fact like:
- "it's never that serious!!"
- "he's probably talking to other girls and he has women back home!"
- "move on!! travel flings like this are never going to last, you're just living in the moment"
- "look, that's great for you babes... but come on Kay.. do you really think he's going to think about you after traveling for 8 more months?"
I'm just a little bit sad, honestly.
I had a couple of days to think about this whole experience. It was all too fast for me, but I can't help but hold these feelings in my body. He's on a solo trip around the world. I just can't hold him back like that. I also think he's a bit hesitant as well. I feel so awful. I was advised to hold my emotions about this situation for just a little bit before moving on. He's a lot busier these days. I want to give him some space, anyway...
I care for him quite a bit. Hope he's doing alright.
I'm going to publish another post with more photos as a DIEC later. Just let me rot right now :(
~ a hopeful romantic,
<3 K