140. The Hopeless Romantics support group
In a surprising turn of events, I became pretty good friends with one week ex boyfriend, or OWEB. I think I sprinkled some of his comments and jokes around my posts that correspond to my topsy-turvy rollercoaster of a so-called romantic life. After being called the "Archduke Franz Ferdinand of his dating hiatus," I pulled away a little bit. What a strange comparison to make. Is the battle with himself comparable to the trench warfare of WWI? While I was gone, OWEB had decided to delete the apps, delete the booty calls, delete the disappointments, delete, delete, delete... After a couple of months have gone by, he decided to check in on me, wanting to hear how I'm doing in a new place and new continent. I was happy to hear from him again.
It's a bit of a funny thing- being good friends with an "ex" romantic flame. He has the advantage of knowing me romantically, so he would know how I would react in certain situations, but also has a shared understanding that things didn't work out between us. Also, there's no bad blood or breakage of trust at all because we get along well and better as pals. He certainly has become a true confidant. It's pretty rare that you can extract a wholesome friendship out of a supposed quick and dirty romantic fling, but we did it anyway.
At first, I was a bit hesitant to talk to him about dates and romantic situations, but I forgot that he had my blog. He read a lot of what I've written already... and then he complained a little bit (hehe) about how I moved on so quickly after him. Ever since then, I have vowed not to tell people that I have a blog unless they seem reasonable and nice. Although, it's a little hard to distinguish the good apples from the bad apples sometimes.
We don't talk all the time, but when we do we encourage each other and talk about dates that we've been on. I think that we view relationships and dating the same way- someone to be a good wholesome companion with, someone to be transparent and honest with (we are traumatized lol), someone who is adventurous (I need a travel buddy and OWEB needs someone to kick his ass and explore the world with!), but we don't take the easy route at all. We both have the shared tendency to find people who are "difficult" and "challenging" because we feel like we have the earn their love in order to be satisfying to us (this is a bad habit!).
During our conversations and date briefings, he constantly tells me about how flakey and uninteresting the girls are back at home... I talk about how non-committal and insane the guys I date have been... It's nice to share the same journey with someone who knows you, understands what you want, but doesn't want to date you.
Here is an inside look into our funny conversations. We were role playing. Me, a monarch trying to seek diplomatic advice from OWEB, my loyal and trusted royal advisor. I was asking advice on how to get my belongings back from a failed "situationship" who ghosted me. (I am not a good actor we all know this.)
My friends, who are privy to my constant weekly updates, hear news of OWEB sometimes. They actually appreciate his story arc and character development over the last couple of months. Honestly, he's been turning things around for his personal life (and how he is as an individual). Recently, there have been stressful things that had happened to him, but he has been shouldering the burdens and have been pretty chipper lately. I'm quite proud of him, actually.
I'm not going to go back to my romantic speedrun blog post and edit out all the bad details about him, now that he's a good friend of mine. Although, now I feel a bit weird writing about my experiences with people, especially when I know that they're going to read my perspective on things. I actually appreciate that people read what I wrote about them and they write me a thoughtful critique on what I said. Personally, I think that I try to give everyone a little bit of a nuanced point of view on what I really think of the day, the events, the people, etc., and try not to write them off as "terrible people" or "exemplary people," they're just people that I've spent some good times and bad times with- whatever they those times may be.
Our conversations about being written. When people hear that I have a blog and that we had a great adventurous day, they always ask: are you going to blog about this? The answer is always 'yes!', but with their permission of course. I have written a lot of things about people that I had to wordsmith the shit out of them because I don't want them to be self-conscious... I don't know man. It's just my perspective and I mean no harm :(
I've been a proud member of The Hopeless Romantics support group for quite some time.
I don't know. Would it be weird that I post an advertisement about OWEB and say that he's single and looking for a nice girl to spend time with? He thought it would be such a hilarious thing if I do. I really don't know if people are going to read this and be keen to talk to him, but what's the worse that could happen?
Basically, our conversation went like:
"Kay, the apps aren't working at all. I'm so disappointed."
"What if I wrote about you on my blog... a dating advert like in Indian Matchmaker or something like that?"
"That would be so funny actually, can you do that?"
"How about you visit? I think you need a change of scenery."
I don't know if he's going to visit me. If he does, I think I could be a pretty good wingwoman.
Dating Profile for OWEB
- Age: 27
- Height: 5'10
- Sign: Libra
- Interests: playing the guitar, doing the NYT crossword together, petting cats, camping, hiking, working out
- Looking for: A meaningful relationship with a pretty lady where you guys can look for the "so bad it's good" movie together.
- What he looks like: He looks like a young George Michael. He has a beard and brown curly-ish hair. I swear to God. Bro's handsome.
Email me if you want to talk to this man. He's very kind. I'm not joking about it. Bro either needs to get out of the city and travel for a bit, or we get interesting and cool Bear blog readers to talk to him.
~ one of the founding members of the hopeless romantics support group,
<3 K