67. Friendship breaks are okay
One of my most popular posts is 5. How to make friends like a normal person, from a not-so-normal person, which I find truly amazing. That is really cool of everyone to tune into that one specifically.
This is just a reminder (to me and others)- taking friendship breaks is okay. You are there to support and have fun with your friends. However, just like any relationship, sometimes friendships have their downside. A friend is hardly ever perfect.
I've had multiple times throughout my life where me and my friends have a friendship break-up. The break-up can be mutual or kind of sprung on you. It sucks when it's a sudden thing. There are times that I admit I'm the bad friend and times where you think your friend just outright sucks. Your friend mismanages her anger towards you, you blatantly ignore your friend's cries, you guys hang out and you both don't have a good time... there is true dissatisfaction in this relationship and it's not helping anyone.
The break-up: it's awful and you mourn for months... It's necessary to distance, or even break-up with your friend, if you or the other person is not having a good time in the friendship. Whenever I have a falling out with a friend, I mourn for months, sometimes even longer than a romantic break-up. But this is necessary in your life. You want to actively help yourself improve and do better in the relationship.
It doesn't always mean you need to stop being friends. On the contrary, a friendship break-up can actually make a friendship stronger. Sometimes, you just get into bad habits with a friend, and you need a moment to step away to get back on track. It's just like dating.
To be honest, I've become a hermit. I think maintaining this path is alright, but not sustainable in the long run. I do miss my childhood friends, but I really needed to take a step back and re-assess myself and everything around me before returning back into their lives. I have the tendency to fall off the face of the earth* and I think my friends acknowledge that as well. I appreciate them so much, they always welcome me with open arms.
[*This is a very bad habit of mine, do not excuse yourself out of your social circles or out of society. I don't think it's a good idea. Not many people are accommodating and receive my return well, although a genuine apology and the willingness to change and to do better for yourself goes a long way.]
I have the controversial opinion of disengaging from others and focusing on your own thing for a while before you come back. I don't want to be an active participant in people's lives unless I'm an active person in mine. I think that's a big reason why I've excused myself out of the "dating pool"... I don't think I'd want to step into the dating scene right now... Perhaps my thought will change in the next few months or years or so.
~ breakup with ur gf, not because you're bored, it's because it's not helping u in the long-run and u want to better urself as people,
<3 K