17. "try writing something bad or mundane just to get going"
hi mees, hi friends (in general)-
here I am, writing a terrible, no good, very bad blog post- just to get going. I took your advice. I guess this is an unpolished "word splatter" of text. I find myself revisiting a lot of things I've written and even writing stuff earlier- like getting my thoughts out in the open and revising it a couple times before I actually publish it in the wild.
Sometimes I have nothing remarkable to say. Sometimes I just gotta sit in the mundane and soak up life like a sponge. I'm writing for the sake of writing.
I keep thinking about what you said: Writing begets more writing. It's stuck with me. I'm going to quote it more often. (My quote as of late is from a friend who was making fun of this really "typical LinkedIn" blog post and we couldn't stop laughing at it. When people ask for my greatest weakness, I say, "I am stubborn" and when they ask or my greatest strength, I say, "I persevere." - I laugh with my WHOLE ass. The earnestness - this quote is... just wow.)
I understand that we just write- write- write... we just gotta. We have to flex those creative intellectual muscles every single day, or else we won't get better. But just like professional Olympic athletes, we need our rest days. We need to sit down and relax ourselves.
So, I don't know why people aren't publishing unfinished products. And the word, "products" are we really just users and consumers of everything? Humans are such gluttons. We consume. We devour. We give nothing back. There's so much noise on the Internet, why am I trying to contribute to it?
I am at a crosswords of two different thoughts- do I really want to contribute to the mass of "garbage" and "data"? That's all it is right? But this is a matter of discipline and being fully honest with myself. I have to do this in order to stay on task- I have to do this in order to be grow.
I'm so afraid of being such a WIP (work in progress), because I have this unhealthy fixation of trying to trick others into thinking that I'm faultless. I want to be cool, I want to be efficient, I want to be reliable. But, holy hell- I just can't take it. I'm living this persona. I feel like I'm a marionette controlled by the puppeteer of life.
I make mistakes all the time and I don't like it. I don't know man, I guess I just have to be comfortable in the discomfort. Maybe that's why I like doing extreme sports and traveling all the time- when you first start out, no one is ever good at it. You don't have to be good at it either! For example, when you first start climbing, you're not going to be good. When you first start traveling, you'll be lost. Anyone that participates in these activities are comfortable with taking risks for personal growth. Having fun and learning and growing?
I want to do that...
My days consist of exercising, touching grass, writing, working on my research, visiting pubs, and playing some geoguessr with my friends.
I'll figure this life thing out one day at a time. I'm doing okay, my friends. Everything is alright. Everything is cool.
But I really need to get a move on... It'll be okay.
~ a life-sized human person,
<3 K
Edit- 12:41PM
Thank you friend for taking the time to reading it. The comment that completely made my day was:
"it felt like grabbing a coffee in the cafe of ur brain yknow"
"like being whisked into ur mind for a little bit and then boop we out"
You are so kind. I just gotta be comfortable with my half-assed stuff. I'm trying too hard to be the best version of myself, when really- when I'm not even doing anything or trying at all, I just am :)
A great post by visakanv