86. The uselessness of asking what type you usually go for
To be honest, I think I have a knack for sussing people out and understanding their character... Perhaps I would be a good matchmaker in another life? There are way more extroverted people who does that for a career, which I find kind of cool? Tiramisu told me that he enjoys hearing my perspective and has been encouraging me to write more personal stories about "love" and "romance," except I don't think I'm really qualified to talk on that subject... Maybe the unsuccessful single people are the best love gurus out of all of us?
But actually! I am actually 1 for 1 in terms of matching people up. During my first year of university, I had to do a project and was partners with this reserved, black horn rimmed glasses kind of guy who was super pretentious. (People have always had an aversion to pretension, whereas I usually welcome it. It's often an indicator of a curious mind.) Well, this guy liked me, he seemed like reasonable and kind person, but I just simply wasn't feeling it. So I got out of it by setting him up with my hallmate. So I invited him to my dorm to watch a movie with my friends and left my hallmate and him alone. Now they're married, so it worked out pretty well?
I've been feeling a lot better with myself lately. I'm catching up with more of my friends and slowly pulling myself out of a husk of a person. One of the things my friends said that they miss about me was the colorful, yet totally absurd descriptive tangents I would go on and on (especially on a call) Well, you see- I've called a couple of my friends up the other day and they always ask about my love life (it seems like I have very interesting stories)... I don't get mad at them for asking me about it... People love to talk about love.
My Italian friend was asking me about "my type" or person I usually date... except I really can't pinpoint my "exact type." Hey what’s your type? What type of guy do you normally go for? Am I your type?
On some level, asking these types of questions will yield some accurate insights into a person’s dating preferences and the characteristics that they find attractive and ultimately find admirable enough to express a desire for. But more often than not, we don't understand the reasons why we are attracted to someone, nor can we pinpoint what triggered our attraction to them in the first place – I think it’s information that’s not available to us at a conscious level.
Maybe I do go for the same kind of person? I don't necessarily want to narrow down a list of hard criteria for me to consider someone an "ideal mate," but I think a lot of people have "love lists" to find their ideal partner. I think I need to know who I am before I can know what I want.
Here's my list (I don't know if it's high-maintenance or not... I guess it's my preferences?)
- Has a passport, so that they can travel with me
- Likes to do outdoorsy things (I like rock climbing and other sports, but I will probably never do ice climbing)
- Can appreciate my interests (I enjoy Twilight a lot and need someone to support me enjoying vampires)
- Is kind (has gentle eyes)
- Understands my jokes (I am not that funny - they don't have to laugh at them. I'm kidding, you have to laugh at them.)
- Has a sibling (¯_(ツ)_/¯)
- Will participate in movie marathons (I will watch 3-4 in a row)
- Has a slightly weird face (to be determined)
- Likes comically small dogs (woof)
- Doesn't bother me (I am busy)
I believe that love isn't necessarily a necessity in everyone's life, but it sure does make it better. It's pretty much the only thing in the history of humankind that can be able to replace eating, drinking, and even sleeping. But the thing is, you can't force someone to want this in their life until they're ready for it. But when you are, you just gotta love yourself first.
~ my type is TBD,
<3 K