1. So tell me, how... do you write everyday?
I was inspired to write my thoughts down by many of my friends and family. This has been an ongoing thing. They would always tell me my writing skill is a gift... but I keep getting hit in the face with impostor syndrome (especially during my years of grad school! yikes...).
It's interesting. These past years, I have been working on my writing a lot... Paper after paper, dataset after dataset, I'm honestly far from done but I'm really working on my craft. I like it. I hate it. But I've been working hard. So much so, I received a co-authorship in a scientific article actually. It ain't much, but that's the mark of a true author, right? Getting published? That should signify that I'm actually pretty capable, right?
One time, when I was in high school, I received an outstanding writer award from my 11th grade English teacher (I thought he didn't like me, but quite the contrary). He would love reading my essays when we studied historical fiction like "Grapes of Wrath" and analyze contemporary pieces like "This is Water". (That speech is one of my favorite pieces of all time)
But as of late, I often really feel like I couldn't develop into a flourishing 'writer'. I stopped writing. Held back by my own insecurity, honestly. I was told that I should look at the facts. I got all these things going for me, why on earth do I feel this way? I also fear that I sound really arrogant. I don't like listing accomplishments like that, but I have to. "Be proud of you". It's a self-affirming thing? I dunno man...
But come on, I gotta shake the negative vibes off. I don't want to be insecure- haunted by the 'what if' scenarios, and not roll with the punches. Every single human in the world should be able to voice out what they want to say and not be ashamed/ridiculed/embarrassed by it. I had to take a big look at myself this year and realize that the life that I was currently living wasn't what I wanted. I wasn't doing things that are aligned with what I really wanted to do.
So what now? I guess I'll keep on writing :) Some re-evaluation as well too. Now, I'll establish some ground rules for myself, heh.
Rules of writing
1. Try to write every day (If I don't, then that's okay. Consistency is key, but I won't beat myself up over it!)
2. Try to stay on ONE subject in a post (I always stray off-topic and go off on many tangents... look at the title of my blog! "My thoughts are marbles, roll with me". As clever as that is, I just want to keep my posts focused)
3. Don't stress too hard (okay- I'll be sharing this with trusted friends and fam, BUT don't worry about what they'll think, Kayla. This is YOUR stage, own it)
Thanks everyone. I hope you can tune in to my thoughts and dreams.
~ are you an advanced medical transportation technician because you've stolen my heart,
<3 K