7. I left my heart in SF(O)- An open letter to my airport crushes
limerance: a state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.
The "airport crush" phenomena. This is such a strange "love at first sight" feeling you get. I've searched around the Google and found out that this is a familiar feeling! Oh wow, there's even a song called "airport crush" by mark zhu (on Spotify). Apparently, it was a TikTok trend? I apologize, I'm not on the trends as I should be.
Anyway, why do we romanticize meeting the perfect stranger?
An airport crush is the person you are instantly attracted to in a liminal space (like an airport!) (note: this is not exclusive to airports. This feeling can arise anywhere- at coffee shops, waiting in a queue for something, etc.). The allure of the airport crush: Why a hot stranger is hard to forget?
[note: some people call this the bus crush/rush hour crush/train crush. These are essentially the same thing, in my opinion]
The airport crush and why we are drawn by its mysticism
For some reason, those strangers we fancy have the power to linger in our minds for days, weeks, months, even years. If we see an attractive stranger at the airport, in your head you're like: 'Wow! You're traveling too? Nice!'
We can totally run with that imagining how much else we’d have in common. By filling in the blanks about the other person, we can build a complete narrative which is invariably a projection of idealized qualities.
Because we don’t actually know them, we can project all kinds of dreamy qualities their way, transforming them into ‘the one’ with very little actual evidence.
There’s a reason these romantic moments stay with us.
The shared feeling
Seemingly out of nowhere, airport crushes have become an undeniable part of the flying experience for us young, hopeless romantics. Why is there so much tension between you and someone your age on the plane?
In reality, we are at the mercy of loads of different factors, such as the airline's seating arrangement and the age range of fellow passengers. This means that in the vast majority of cases, nothing is likely to eventuate. Airports aren't a natural habitat for young folk.
One of the reasons why we romanticize "airport love" is that they're normally a space for families and cashed-up retirees. As young people, we are co-existing in a space occupied by screaming babies, middle aged people on business trips, tired parents trying to wrangle their children. When we're in a situation like this, we feel a sense of shared alienation with the other person that is roughly your age. There is an unspoken acknowledgement that the other young person feels just out of place as we do.
The rom-com delusion
But come on now, let's get back to the cute parts of this. This certain "crush" energy permeates through you. Another reason is- this is a travel fantasy. Movies like Monte Carlo, Lizzie McGuire movie, the Cheetah Girls sold me this cute romcom-esque, tied a bow and wrapped in a present, fed it to me like a Gerber baby, delusion- making me think that I'm going to meet the love of my life in at my holiday destination or something. Airports have become an overwhelmingly common depiction of a "romantic setting" in the media we consume. Love Actually? The end of Friends? Come on now.
Literally and symbolically, airports are a place of both departure and arrival. Airports are also liminal spaces where, due to the huge amounts of variables (e.g., scheduling, seating arrangements, pilots, onboard menu) anything could serendipitously happen. Even if you didn't plan on it, there's probably always that little "what if' thought bouncing around in your head when you're at the airport.
Airports are so dull
This is such a simple reason, airports are so boring. When you're waiting, there's literally nothing to do but snack, work on your computer, text your friends while using the free airport wifi, walk around the boarding gate area? The airport is busy, there's barely anywhere to sit. Everything's so expensive. (I once paid $16 for a pint of beer at the airport bar. I don't know what came over me. I learned my lesson, okay? I now visit the lounge and take advantage of their free alcohol...)
But you know that doesn't cost a cent? Airport crushes.
At the very least, searching for an airport crush distracts us from the monotony of watching the departures screen.
A fantasy unfulfilled
Imagine this- You're just sitting there, probably leaning on your carry-on baggage, but you caught a glimpse of the cutie who's sitting across the way from you. You hide behind the book you brought for your flight reading. You tap away on your phone screen, saying to your friends- "omg, I just saw the love of my life rn"
I want to be seen as the most mysterious and alluring person, so this is what I do with an airport crush:
First- I look at them with a little demure, a little playful "eye-fuck".
Second- I look away, pretend to space out and dissociate by looking out the giant window, and admire the 747's coming out of the hangar.
[My inner thoughts at this point: Wow, I love planes, I love traveling... I'm so well-cultured! Look at me airport crush, please check me out. I'm checking you out hehe. I'm so well-traveled and awesome and cool. I'm so unbothered and pretending not to notice you. I'm so enchanting and cute.]
Then- try to steal a glance at them...
And finally- never speak with them lol.
Haha! Wow, you guys... you think I'm going to make the first move?? That's... terrifying. Everyone loves to extol the virtues of a hot girl; but in truth, I have it on good enough authority that not as many people are the "masters of seduction" as they like to purport they are. We are all just thinking sexy thoughts and telling sexy lies.
I left my heart in SF(O)- an open letter to my airport crushes:
Dear airport crushes,
I see you and thank you for the immaculate hot person energy you're bringing. I appreciate your vibes.
Airport crushes are not limited to just the airport.
The vaguely attractive people at the coffee shop. They just ordered an espresso and they're just working on some project, typing furiously on their laptop. God, they're just so hot. The way they type like 110 WPM on that Word Doc? The way they tab back and forth on Spotify just now... Oh my god...
The cutie at the library who sat across the way from you, and you're trying to study. They're using some nerd's Quizlet and they have every sticker imaginable on their computer case right now... Wow, they're so smart and pretty. Oh wow, I like that Gilmore Girls sticker... They're so cool. Wow.
The hottest person at the DMV or something, who kinda passes by you every five minutes while you're waiting. They're just twiddling their thumbs and tapping away on their phone, but they look so hot while doing that? Okay wait- the hottest person at the DMV?
Is this too romanticized? Is this too much?
No. I don't think so. And even so, I don't even care. It's fun.
These "liminal space" crushes are the best.
Romanticizing your life is so powerful. You can counteract the tendency of 'focusing on the negatives' by noticing the moments where you feel even a brief moment of happiness or pleasure.
I don't care if I ever see you again. I don't care if I never get a chance to talk to you. I think you're hot. I'm pining over a stranger, so what? Crushes are rooted in fantasy and tend to happen when you don't know much about a person but idealize what they are like.
And this sort of limerance- I'm going to keep it to myself.
So yeah. Yes, you. The random, good-looking people walking through the terminal. You're my crush.
Those airport crushes- wherever they're heading to-
not your gate,
not your flight,
not your destination,
never to be seen again.
Bon voyage.
~ the witch that won’t turn you into a frog because amphibians are people too,
<3 K