132. Gossip session with the uncles today
I had a busy day of running errands around the city today. I didn't have really good sleep the night before. My mom is totally on my ass for a lot of the admin and bureaucratic things that are out of my control. It's a bit of a mess, but I'm fixing and solving problems as we go. It's a little tricky navigating things, currently, but I'm trying to go with ease.
I finally got my dining table today. For the first couple of weeks I've been dining out, which was pretty nice, but I didn't want to take anymore dings to my wallet. Last week, I got a computer desk and I've been eating meals on it, but it's not suitable and a little inconvenient to be wiping off crumbs all the time before I place my computer on it. A lovely 69 cm IKEA SANDSBERG table is going to fit nicely in the corner of the room. I'm feeling good, feeling great. I just have to assemble it and I can finally have something to eat on.
While lugging around the dining table from the store to the parking lot, I had to order a rideshare so that I could get back to my flat. I've been truly blessed with not having to bother with a car. I love a city where I could just take a lot of public transportation or walk around. I didn't like the car culture in the U.S. when I was growing up. I prefer walking on footpaths and having many places accessible to you.
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My driver pulled up and helped me with my items. He was curious about where I was from, because apparently I have a "solid Chinese face," but a strange foreign "aura" on me. I didn't take offense to that. It's pretty common for me to get questions about where I'm from, because I simply look a little different from the locals. I also receive comments that I don't typically look like the international tourists and expats, but I sure do walk like one (Americans have a tendency to lean on things, I've noticed).
We got to talking right away. My driver is a 38-year old Indian-Portuguese man who grew up here. He said that he's never been to America and was quite curious about it. I told him little stories about how I felt a bit different amongst my peers, yet when I go to Asia, I feel too "westernized" and act so American. It is a struggle that a lot of Asian-Americans go through, but I feel pretty confident in my self-identity and self-worth these days. It's been a long process of self-acceptance.
As a side note, I feel like there's a lot of pressures from every side for "third-culture kids". I've been trying to navigate through these different pressures and stresses with grace these days. It's a rough learning curve, but accepting yourself is something that I really want to strive for and encourage for everyone around, no matter what kind of person you are. I know that it opens up with more discussion about identity and race, but I think it's quite good to have conversations about differences. The more you talk about the contrast, the more I think people have a lot more in common than you think.
Anyway, my driver was super chatty, but was quite interested in what I want to say. We riffed in our conversation pretty well. I actually jotted down a couple of notes on what we talked about together on our drive (see below). We were stuck in traffic, but he had a lot to chat about while we meander down the road.
He dropped me off, the cumbersome IKEA table that has a tendency of toppling me over in one hand, and a piece of wisdom in the other.
"If you need anything at all, I'm giving you my contact. I'm not going to bother you, but just text me if you need something I'll help you out."
I thanked him and he sped off into the traffic.
I have to navigate through bureaucracy today. It was sort of a pain to figure out. Moving abroad when you're not a local or don't really know the language is a little tricky, but I've made a lot of friends and connections that are helping me through the beginning stages of the "expat experience". I've done this before, but I haven't gathered all of my bearings just yet.
There was a local guy that my mom spoke to. He and his crew helped install the lights to my place when I first moved in with a single mattress on the floor. My mom liked this man a lot because he's just a dependable old guy with lots of connections. Now, he is the head of the team of contractors who are currently working on our place with the renovations. I spoke with him about some issues regarding a lot of utilities and admin work and he was happy to show me the ropes. He's a good uncle.
Uncle drove a nice reliable van (that my mom thought was really cool and thrifty of him) and we headed into the city to get these admin tasks out of the way. I recall reading a post from misu about "errand runs as a friend date" and it truly felt like that. The conversation started out pretty basic and then it dived into the intricacies of being a different country and living life. He told me that when he was younger he went to university in the French part of Belgium. I thought that it was fascinating.
I kept getting calls from my mom at this point of our drive. She's one little nervous ball of stress (my siblings and I have agreed that she has unchecked anxiety and we try our best not to be screw-ups). Uncle mentioned that he talked to my dad on the phone as well. My father is one large calm ball of "no shits given". After I explained the dynamic between my parents and how they operate, Uncle told me that I was the perfect combination of both of my parents. I thought it was a nice compliment.
Uncles love to gossip. Don't be afraid to spill tea with the old guys. Be careful who you tell and what you tell though. Don't show all your cards.
~ your resident poker player,
<3 K