26. [OOMFH] Drawing: again (finally!)
I don't know what came over me but I decided to draw again. It's honestly been ages since I have sketched or done anything related to the "traditional fine arts" in a while (ehmm.. I don't think meme creation counts? hehe).
In the past couple years, I felt like my "creativity muscle" was... stifled? I didn't even have time to rest, even during lockdown and quarantine! I was always on the move! I just didn't have a breath of air. I don't know... I was so stressed all the time and I didn't have the time to flex my artistic skills, I guess? It was a really sad time for me because I thought I wasn't very into the arts anymore.
I used to be an avid artist when I was a child. I would draw and sketch in these large artist sketchbooks my parents would give me. Pictionary was my favorite game. I loved drawing and painting and expressing myself creatively like that.
However, when I was in high school, everything changed when I enrolled into AP (Advanced Placement) Art. It was such a stressful final year of high school with all these university applications and added pressure of growing up. For the AP examination, I supposed to make a portfolio of all of the pieces I made throughout the school year (I currently do not have them in my possession... that's a story for another time actually!). Frankly, I despised everything I drew, but completed the course anyway...
Moreover, my love for art shifted when I had to deal with such a grouchy teacher... She made me lose a lot of motivation in art. I would do a lot of technique lessons alone (it was an independent art course) and try to execute what I learned that week with the biweekly assignments that she made us do. She kind of pitted us against each other? She had the tendency to show off pieces that my classmates do, but kept the artist anonymous when she described what was wrong with it, but we all knew who it was. (There was literally 12 people in the class...) She yelled at the whole class. She occasionally made my friends cry. She made me cry, but I never cried in class, I always would excuse myself to go to the toilets and had a moment in the stall by myself.
My art teacher had a very strict "no copying" rule, which I totally understand because plagiarizing art is very wrong, but she didn't let us reference a lot of the artists or art styles that we admired. Like, we had to develop our own style (which I get), but we couldn't look to others for inspiration? (which I didn't get). She didn’t let us look at different techniques or styles that other artists have done and it was a little frustrating. I remember one time I was looking at a photo of dogs in graduation gowns and she only scored me a 5 out of 10 points for my grade because I was directly copying the reference. I just wanted to know how to draw a certain thing like the form and the different values, not like completely rip them off? Maybe I did rip the photo off. Perhaps it was a well-deserved F. Sigh.
Trying to be original is exhausting, and it is impossible. Give up the pursuit altogether. There’s no such thing as original, everything is derivative. Everything is a remix. The artists who are held up as ‘original’ are simply much better at remixing than everybody else. They make familiar remixes with elements people don’t quite expect, or they make unfamiliar mixes with familiar elements.
-0152 – Letter To A Young Songwriter (A friend sent this to me. I reference this post very often. I like it a lot!)
Okay, I don't actually remember what my portfolio theme was, but it had a lot of "sketchy" style illustrations of animals with ink pen and a brown canvas paper (I may edit this later and post some photos if I ever find my artwork). After finishing that class with that teacher, I gave up sketching and illustrating things. I just didn't feel like it anymore. I would doodle occasionally when I was in undergrad, like, little doodles or homemade birthday cards for my friends and family, but I never took it up as a hobby anymore.
It's been a while.
On my birthday this year, I decided to buy a hardcover sketch book, but I didn't pick it up and messed around with it until now. I've been drawing in ink pen lately. I want to show you all my progress in my little sketches so far!
Do they call it a “love seat” because it’s a seat you can make love in?
About 20 years ago I was really inspired to be a fashion designer and I would draw different fashion sketches and designs and my friend was the model.
Big whale thing I took inspiration from a photo from Pinterest
These ones are GeoGuessr inspired (ha!) I showed these to my friends and they thought they were cool! I felt happy.
I feel like I've identified my style at an early age. I was very methodical with my lil sketchy lines.
Also- I'm a little bit shy about showing my stuff. I'm trying to get out of that shy mindset and show off a little more. How will people think I'm cool if I don't show them that?
Maybe I'll make it a thing where I can post some drawings from my sketchbook like a doodle weekly round-up? idk just as a challenge for me to be comfortable for showing my work.
Thank you always for reading and tuning into my little slice of life.
~ a grateful cornucopia filled with lunch meat,
<3 K