49. Can you change your personality?
Me and my friends were chatting the other day and we were discussing personality tests and all that jazz. I joked about being a "typical Aries", but also an "introverted feeler" and stopped myself because I couldn't believe those words fell out of my mouth. I know it's just unserious friend talk, but everyone kinda just nodded in agreement and were like, "Yeah that tracks". They proceeded to point out my "Kayisms" and tried to link them to certain behaviors of my self-assigned "personality types". Come on, it's kind of a load of quirky BS. I'm not really sure if there was any scientific research involved with creating these tests? I think the results are probably as robust as the results from the "which anime character are you" quiz.
Anyway, I'm not completely against it. It's not something I really deeply believe in, but it costs nothing to be a bit superstitious? I've always thought that personality types (e.g., Myers-Briggs (MBTI), enneagram, color tests, Big Five, zodiac signs, etc.) were just for fun. Like you don't take it really seriously, but you do it because it's lighthearted banter and it's easier to talk to with others. When I was a teenager, I read a lot about personality types and cognitive functions- just to see if I'm able to categorize and observe people's behavior so I can have a better time talking to them. It wasn't really to increase my knowledge in the realm of personalities, but it was just a way for me to socialize better I guess.
Over time, I realize that actually a lot of people take it seriously. Like I still get surprised when people use it to justify them completely avoiding certain "star signs". Many astrology girlies have given me preemptive warnings like, "Oh he's a Cancer you should probably avoid talking to him because he's overly sensitive and you're going to have a bad time."
...Alright, I have you know, I dated a Cancer guy and he completely disregarded my feelings lol. Also, my dad has his birthday the day before as my ex, and my siblings and I would agreed that our father is "not super in touch with his emotions", but gives great logical advice... I am not sure if birthdays are great indicators of personality to be honest.
After 5 years, I took the mbti test(s) again and I always get the same results. I'm always getting around ~50%-ish for each of the categories in one test, and then for the other tests I would get a "really introverted" and "really feeler" result. I think I don't always fall under one "extreme" and it's probably true for a lot of people. I think people have a tendency to be in-betweeners.
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mistypeinvestigator.com: Cognitive Functions test
They all have kind of the same questions and I answer them as best as I can. Some of the scenarios can really be two sides of the same coin. I feel like a lot of people are able to "mistype" my personality/astrology chart/whatever, but I try to act the same way with everyone. In my opinion, these results present a thin veneer of your entire identity? Perhaps just a surface-level depth of who you truly are.
Is it really possible to change parts (or all) of your personality? Often, most people can really change as they transition into adulthood. I think it's quite difficult to change your your old rituals, habits, and beliefs instilled in you, but I think it's not impossible. A personality is a conglomeration of the nature and nurture you've experienced and your inner temperament. But honestly, it's something that you cannot really actively transform because you're constantly aware of how your reacting and interacting with the world. Not saying that there are different habits or reactions that people can hold and adapt to over time, but that's just how people are.
In my opinion, I think you just learn to accept who you are by honoring your strengths and overcoming your weaknesses. There is comfort in knowing you never need to "change" who you are for the "better." But instead, you find the balance in all the qualities that make you, you.
Maybe that was very INFJ/Aries of me? I dunno man.
~ a "so-called" empath,
<3 K