148. A 24-hour date

25 Feb, 2024

Sometimes, it's a bit hard to compartmentalize your shitty love life. Other parts in my life are going quite well, but I can't seem to figure out how I'm just a bit unlucky in the romantic department. My friends have told me that I have too much of a grip on things, which I find slightly true, but these people don't know what they want...

On a date, I was asked the question: "What do you want, like a relationship?"

I said: "I'm just going with the flow right now. But honestly, maybe later in the future, I would want something consistent."

"Like married or something?"

"Oh wow, not in my young age... Maybe later if that's in the cards for me. That would be cool."

Then he just said, "Well... I hope you find him."

I was so taken aback. Wow, what an asshole.

Consistency can mean anything honestly. I don't know why they run away so quickly? Jesus Christ...

I can't help but be me, ya know?

I've been complaining about this for months now. I actually have a lot more things that I want to write about that doesn't involve emotionally-unavailable romantic failures. I apologize. However, Misu disagrees with how I feel about this. He said that the Bear Community is at the edge of their seats, waiting for another lore drop at the end of the day.

I'm happy to provide it for you.

After four more "situationships" (as the kids call it these days), I decided to throw in the towel and just focus on friends, work, and myself. To be honest, I really don't want to get into those "situation" stories... Things have been sucking so much. I thought that I could take a break, but I actually got entangled in such a complicated web of emotions and issues at the end of this. At first, things were so easy.

Climbing Guy asked me out on Sunday, three days after we met. My friend was in town, and I was so reluctant to go. I was holding her luggage for the time being. She encouraged me to just see how the vibes are, and if you like him, just hang out with him and have fun. I was going to meet her later to help her with her suitcases at my apartment.

Climbing Guy and I were going to play it by ear and grab something to eat before we climbed. Our rendezvous began at a Vietnamese coffee shop, where he and I exchanged nervous smiles and small talk while he was working on something on his computer. The ambiance was serene, I saw a lamp and took a photo of the shadow on the wall, while waiting for him to finish up things on his laptop. To be honest, I found myself drawn to his easy charm and genuine warmth. I assumed that it would be an interesting date.

We were a bit hungry and wanted to find something good for lunch. I led him to the food court area and then we sat in a Japanese restaurant. We admired the conveyor belt and the assortment of foods. It had many things to choose from and I guided him on what was new and what was tasty. He complimented my knowledge of the different dishes.

Over plates of sushi and bowls of ramen, we delved into deeper conversations, sharing anecdotes from our lives and discovering common interests. He told me he spent a semester in Daegu, South Korea. I told him about my "side quests" in life (I want to open an resthouse/inn for climbers some day, maybe in a decade or so). Despite the initial awkwardness that often accompanies first encounters, we quickly found ourselves engrossed in each other's company.

One of the most flattering things he said to me was, "I love the way your brain works." He said this to me 6 times while he was with me, while I was explaining different things in the way that I see it. I was overwhelmed by the compliments, to be honest. I've never had someone think of me so highly before and I was very intrigued. Looking back, it did feel a bit love-bomby, but when you’re in that moment, what can one do but just be flattered.

--

We climbed at my home gym for a bit and worked on some projects. I found out that he was 3 months younger than me. I was actually pleased that we were the same age. As we scaled the walls, I marveled at his climbing skills, his encouraging words spurred me on to crush some routes. I was pretty nervous because my climbing shoes were getting beat up. I am due for some new rubber.

Our date prolonged after our climbing session because I suggested that we visit this vegan restaurant/cocktail bar before we had to do a couple of important things. We had a little bit of time before I had to drop my friend off at the train station and he had to take an important call. Little did I know that this detour would become one of the highlights of our day, as we bonded over our interest in food and experiences in SE Asia.

We went to this lovely bar, which was on the second floor in a building in the middle of Chinatown. We ordered kombucha, cocktails, and this oval-shaped Chinese pastry with soft, sticky glutinous rice flour skin wrapped called "Ang ku kueh". We listened to the music and took in the atmosphere. It was such a wonderful time that had to be cut short, because my friend was waiting for me. We agreed to meet up later in the evening when he was finished with his call and I dropped off my friend.

--

I took the train back and ran back to my apartment with so much pep in my step. My friend was in the front of the complex, where she was waiting for me with a dead battery, a bunch of pasalubong¹ for her friends and family back home, and an eagerness to hear about the date she encouraged me to go on (I told her I really wasn't feeling it, but she insisted that I have an open mind and to give him a chance). We got back to my flat. She had to store her luggage somewhere because she needed to check out of her hotel, so I offered to help her out.

As she was zipping and unzipping many bags, I was happily going on and on about my date. I was so glad that I found someone that "gets me" and "understands what I was going on about when I go on long tangents about something." It's actually pretty rare to find a connection like that. He was so soft and gentle with his words. I was going to take this slowly and hope that he feels as warmly for me as I do for him at the moment.

Here's the Korean dinner spread before she left for the airport. Love it.

--

The route to the train station was quite interesting. My friend had a flight at 1AM, so we left around 9PM, just to get something to eat before she had to jet off back home. We had to roll her giant suitcase on an uneven sidewalk and walk in the humid night. We decided to stop at a Korean restaurant (I was inspired by my lovely companion's time in South Korea) and eat some tofu soup. I was waiting for some updates from this handsome man.

I should have gone home when he made me wait for him for over an hour. I was already at the bar, listening to the live band. He arrived huffing and puffing.

Here's a blurry photo of the live band. I was at Junk Cafe in Chinatown

We tried to go to his speakeasy, but they didn't have any room for us- so we just went to my usual speakeasy- which is the "In the mood for Love" bar. We had a delightful conversation and talked about films and everything.

After the bar, we decided to walk around. I think both of us didn't want the night to end. We went along the road and went to this billiards place and ended up shooting some pool. It was a really fun time actually. He was a bit peckish, so we went into a local 7-Eleven and he got Korean ramen. I bought us two tiny Milos (because he hasn't tried it yet.)

I was very surprised about how little exposure he had in Malaysia. He told me that he's been hanging out with mostly expats, but I feel like if you're staying at a place for a long time- you would hopefully get accustomed to some of the local things, not just the hipster expat experiences... I was a bit confused.

We continued our date. It was 5AM by the river. We talked about how life was in Malaysia. It was a very romantic atmosphere, on that bench by the river at night. I noticed that there were so many people still awake, not just us. It was crazy. Couples were talking by the river as well.

We shared a kiss on the bench. We were hidden behind a bush, behind some sleeping security guards. He was quite nervous because, although he was fine with PDA, he didn't want to be caught by the security.

They were sleeping anyway.

~ going with the flow,

<3 K

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#date #friends #friendship #personal #romantic #social